we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
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I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
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Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You can't just leave with hair like that
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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