Ambien. No doubt about it.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
