On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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