dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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