I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
