Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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