I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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