I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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