We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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