I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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