He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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