D3 body, D1 cock
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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