Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
