i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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