its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
