I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
a search helicopter?!
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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