also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize