The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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