How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
