Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize