I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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