so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
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He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
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I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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