it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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