great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
