my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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