Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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