Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Holy shit dude........stairs
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