What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
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