Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
