I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize