One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
