I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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