tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
What a dumb baby whore.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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