Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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