it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm both gender and math confused
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
