Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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