dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i think my mom watched the whole time
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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