the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
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There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
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Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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