remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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