it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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