Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
