Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
