it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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