Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
