Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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