Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
