fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
