with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
