Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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