Redeem this text for a blowjob
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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