i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones