Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.