at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.