I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.