i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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