that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
