The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
