I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
