very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
