spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
