I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
